I have gone through this I-am-seriously-in-a-effed-up situation when I completed my class 12th boards. Everyone was too busy filling out applications of their "dream colleges and universities" and I was sitting their like a donkey. I had no idea what i was suppose to do with and in my life. My life felt like a complete waste. Wrong, a psychologist would say at this point, and even add shit like "embrace your shortcomings, and blah blah blah". Being an 18 year old and having no idea which course you should opt for was a nightmare which i don't want anyone to have.
My case was that i wasn't sure what i wanted with my life. Now, I will take this moment to tell you all that i like to dabble in a lot of different things. I love to learn different things, like baking, horse-riding, playing golf(which i have started to learn), playing piano and stuff like that. I have a creative head and i like designing. My love for designing led me to believe that I should probably get into NIFT and learn fashion designing (which was my go-to career since class 8 because i am good at art and painting). But even when i was giving my NIFT entrance i wasn't sure. Me and my confused mind! Phew! Plus, all the aunties that used to visit my house now and then would say, "Arey, designing acha!" making a pitiful face as if sympathizing with me and the gloomy future that I will have when i take up designing. They would continue to say, "hamare jaan ne wale hain unki beti ne designing ki, ab aap meri beti ko dekhiye jo itna acha kama rhi hai aur unki beti ko dekhiye jisko job hi nhi mil rhi (There is an acquaintance of mine whose daughter had done designing, now see my daughter who is earning so much and their daughter who has no job)". I won't say that it had any impact on me but my family was apprehensive about it because not one but many aunties said such stuff.
This shit aside, I did get through the entrances and the second paper and was even offered NIFT Hyderabad in the last counselling which took place after one and a half month of the announcement of the results. Within that time I had lost my grandma and was in no mood to give a eff about my life. This and then the irritation that i had not been offered any centre even when i had a good rank in the first few counselings led me to say NO when they offered my Hyderabad. It is human nature to get frustrated when you keep on waiting. I used to check the website every time they uploaded the allocation list and every effing time they disappointed me.
So to get away from it, I joined a university in my city and i enrolled myself in a B.tech course even after repeatedly mentioning the fact that i don't want to do B.tech, i don't want to be an engineer (i don't have any grudge against engineers by the way). I went for a day, came back home, went the second day with an application to change my course from B.tech to B.A. (Hons) English. I found myself quite at home in pursuing this course and now I am in second year. My passion for designing has not died and I plan on getting a Diploma from NIFT.
Sometimes i think that i made a mistake in not accepting NIFT Hyderabad but then people kept saying that maybe life has some other plans for me and i have my hopes pinned on it. Maybe life does have some plans for me even if i don't.
Right now I am happy studying English Lit because I have always loved reading books (you must be thinking that this girl seems to love every thing, well i like being in love) and i have also secured the highest marks *_* .
I don't know what future has in store for me so i am kinda doing my work,writing my blog and waiting for the lights to guide me home, as in, to my rightful place.
Love,
The Bibliophagist
P.S.- Do share with me if you have experienced the same.
Mail me your story at: bibliophile.beingnerdy@gmail.com
Picture credits : pinterest.com
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